


Phone Confessions

by Kass



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, chicago holiday challenge, dialogue only, ds_flashfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-07
Updated: 2009-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-02 05:25:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kass/pseuds/Kass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm never going to get any peace until I tell you, am I?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phone Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "chicago holiday" challenge at DS_Flashfic.

  
Ray! How good to hear your voice.

No, no, I was awake.

Speedy is well.

Yes, half a lettuce leaf since you've been gone. I assure you, I'm taking impeccable care --

The conference is going well, I take it?

That sounds fascinating.

No, I think I would quite enjoy it. Really.

Perhaps I will, next time. As you say, I have no shortage of vacation days. I expect Turnbull could be convinced to look after Diefenbaker and your turtle.

Indeed I do, Ray. Do tell.

Shoplifting from the hotel gift shop! The poor boy.

I'm sure he had no idea the Radisson was host to so many visiting law enforcement officials.

I assure you, I never shoplifted once.

True, opportunities were limited, but you know that wasn't why, Ray. You know me better than --

Of course I'm offended.

No, I¹m not claiming I was perfect. I made my share of adolescent errors.

[No, Dad, I'm not talking to you. Go away.]

Well, the worst resulted in my running away from home for a time.

It's embarrassing.

Ray! Of course I didn't. I wasn't like that. Besides, if... if you must know, no one would have been interested in sleeping with me even if I had made a move.

No, and really, it's none of your business.

Because I don't want to.

Oh, for --

I'm never going to get any peace until I tell you, am I?

I had just discovered a book in the library about aboriginal Australian culture, and I got it into my head that I should learn to carve boomerangs.

I thought I could give one to one of the boys in my class, as a kind of friendship-offering. I was... short on friends at that time.

No, no, it's quite all right, I've begun the story and I'm going to finish it now.

I didn't want anyone to see me fail, and I naturally assumed that my first few efforts would be flawed. So I hiked out to Carson's Mine, which had been abandoned for some months. Imagine my surprise when I found two men roasting a haunch of elk over an open fire.

It wasn't elk season, you understand.

It was my intention to apprehend them, but I was alone and unarmed. I thought perhaps I could stun one with a boomerang and then tackle the other hand-to-hand, but my better judgement convinced me otherwise.

They had parked their snowmobile beside a stand of trees. I waited until nightfall, crept to the machine, and turned it on, intending to ride to the nearest RCMP outpost. The men shouted and fired their guns at me, but fortunately neither could see well in the dark, and they missed.

Alas, the snowmobile proved to be low on gasoline. It ran out barely a mile from the mine. I abandoned it and ran. Fortunately for me, I had achieved enough of a head start that the poachers didn't catch me, and I made it to the station...only to discover that the two men in question were Mounties, themselves. They had apprehended a pair of poachers just that afternoon, and since the elk had already been shot, they were making the best of a bad situation by roasting the meat for their own meal. I had just stolen... well, the equivalent of a police cruiser.

Don't laugh! It's not--

Well, I suppose it is funny, when you look at it that way.

No, I didn't go home for over a week.

Fair¹s fair: now you have to tell me the most embarrassing story from your teenage years.

Pardon?

Oh.

[cough] Oh.

That's quite --

Oh, my.

...

I'm sure I --

You didn't.

Oh.

_In flagrante delicto!_

No, Ray, it's Latin, it means --

Indeed.

I'm afraid it's time for bed, Ray. You've given me fine ...fodder with which to help myself towards sleep.

And if you ever breathe a word about the snowmobile, I'll --

Yes. Only this time you'll get the punishment you deserve.

Interpret that however you like, Ray.

I look forward to your coming home, too.

Good night. Sweet dreams.


End file.
